There I was armed with a spoon and peanut butter jar in hand… I remember how I crept out to the kitchen. Opened the pantry door slowly to avoid any creaking and grabbed the box of coco puffs. Tiptoed to my room and sat at my computer desk watching YouTube videos and checking emails in-between.
Mindlessly, I dipped the spoon in the jar and topped it with chocolate coco-puffs. I had been doing this for days… Logging my food but at the end of the day wanting something I knew I couldn’t have. This urge is always at night.. I have this soul sister and inspiration I like to call her my accountability partner. I messaged her and told her about my binge. She replied with, "Were you just hungry or did something trigger you."
I had to think about that a second you see… I think awareness first starts by being able to realize what a binge, urge, or stuff my face episode looks like. Its easy to see it happened but its hard to remember what made you want that entire bag of gold fish in the first place.
This is me being open and honest. Lately I've been on an emotional roller coaster. At night it is the hardest for me to handle emotionally. I think about it a lot more, the darkness of the night sets the moods and it does not help that I'm sleeping on an air-mattress and not my temperdic.. Haha. So, I think I talk myself into having something I am craving. Which went from rice Krispy treats to peanut butter and cereal…..What also does not help in my justification process is lately I have been working out at night. So when I get back and its dark out I think it helps me feel like I deserve it.
So this is what I am going to try this week to combat this nasty goal sucking mindset.
- I am going to stop all communication with people or events that trigger my anxiety/emotions by 8 pm so I have time mentally to detach.
- I am going to work out in the mid afternoon to avoid the feeling that I deserve to reward myself.
- I am going to spread my protein throughout the day.
- Lastly, my last meal or two are going to be more high volume so visually it looks and feels like I am eating more.
Some other options:
- Buy the foods you typically have "stuff my face" episodes with in portion controlled packages. Example I need to start buying the cereal you pack in kids lunches and not the box. I could also benefit by doing this with goldfish.
Please share what tips have worked well for you in these kinds of situations.