“It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it that makes a difference”
— Jennifer Louden




Reading this quote in my latest read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, it brought up a lot of awarness and unanswrred questions. 


This last show prep I was on low calories while also reading books like Intuitive Eating, Eating Mindfully and Loving What Is. These books in my delicate dieters state of mind really helped to cultivate some awareness around myself and my eating behaviors somewhat leaving judgment aside. Aside from myself I often see clients struggling with finding consistent flow and enjoyment with their nutritional, physical, and realistic well being. 


I had a client tell me she had a stressful moment and ended up ordering a fat free sugar free starbucks latte and that now put her 25 grams over her allotted carbohydrate amount. A little background, she is currently prepping for a show. Meaning logging her food is the best calorie deficit option, in my opinion. Her recently dealing with the loss of a loved one I did not want to advice her to “just drop her carbs tomorrow by 25 grams”, because I knew all to well how that can lead to continued feeling of shame/guilt especially when in the delicate environment she is currently in. Plus, knowing from her honesty of her not so perfect moments of enjoying life and eating a little bit more than allotted I knew this would not hinder her progress. 


She then asked if she could go on a 20 min light cardio session. She said it would make her feel better. I ultimentally told her to go for it and let me tell you why.  Being honest there is a point in our exercise routines where we need to examine the intention behind our actions. I love that she was aware enough to know that she did in fact order the latte out of stress, using it as a coping mechanism to her current situation. But I had to ask her “Would you be doing this cardio for punishment of over eating, or more of a psychological detachment from your high emotions.” See nothing is wrong with her doing cardio if she uses it like meditation to clear her mind but if she was using it as a coping mechanism to really punish herself that’s a different scenario. 


How many of you have walked in the gym totally not wanting to go but you go anyways and complain about it the entire time? Or how many of you bomb your diet one day and spend the next week mentally punishing yourself? How many of you bomb your diet as a way of hiding behind some other painful emotions you are not sure how to deal with (my hand skyrocketing upward)? We all have off days but if these emotions turn into a long term mindsets it needs to be something we explore in greater depth. 


When it come to weightloss or reaching a fitness goal I think a lot of our problems stem from struggling with this idea of perfectionism. 



  • The fear of failing
  •  Is not self improvement. It is an attempt to earn approval 
  •  Not about healthy growth. It is a defensive move
  •  Is a form of shame


In order to manage this unrealistic idea that we need to be perfect in order to reach our fitnes goals we need to dig a little deeper. 


From perfectionism to I am Enough:

  •  Give yourself permission to be good enough
  •  Practice self resilience, self compassion and most of all


You might not always like the actions you’ve taken but you cannot be honest with yourself until you are able to own your story. No human is perfect and during your fitness journey remember…. We all have cracks, it is important to not form your self worth solely around the image of your body. Your body is just a container. We all have cracks. These cracks allow the light of our soul to be see. We are all more than our body. Our body does not define our self worth, or character, or determine our worthiness of being loved.